Unspoken Conjunctions

You are a lighthouse in my universe. Your words are musical notes never heard before. Your eyes speak languages not invented yet. When you touch me, I see colors beyond this earth. The world spins faster, the sun slows down. The cosmos expands then collapses on itself, swallowing us whole.

For timing was never right, and somehow perfect. Yet I still want to tell you everything I feel. The things I dared not say. The things I still couldn’t look you in the eyes and share. They say those who reveal what they feel become weaker, but what a loss it would be to never express to you the fire you’ve ignited in me.

And I want to explore you. I want to understand you and be there for you. I want to hold your hand and be by your side. I want to kiss your tears. I want to hold you tighter when you’re cold. I want to make you laugh and hear you say my name.

If neither this

Nor

that.

Then I want you to be happy. Being mine or not. I want you to feel fulfilled, to grow in your purpose, to feel driven and empowered, inspired and purely overjoyed. I wish you well, I wish you all that you desire in this world. I wish you to take all that this life has to offer, even if you do not wish to take me. If all that was meant for us, was one fraction of a second, then I will cherish it forever. One lucky strike of lightening. I trust that if we are meant, we will be. If not, then all I ask is to share a sliver of your joy, to witness your smile, to hear your laugh, to be a shoulder whenever you need to lean.

But this isn’t about how you make me feel. For feelings are ever fleeting. And while you may change and grow, your totality remains pure magic.

Now if it’s this

Or

That.

I’ll always opt in for the fast lane pass to your soul. A slow burn, a quick burst, and everything in between. For you are the bane of my existence and the focal point of all my desires. And while there are 8 different languages through which I could describe all that you mean to me, I would need a hundred more to attempt to encapsulate your being.

Yet I recognize how absurd this may all be, for who are you and who am I, but a speck of dust in the grandness of things. Two chains of atoms squeezed together, mirroring the other’s culmination in perfect opposition, the completing part to the empty spaces in between.

So let me tell you all things I wish I could say.